5 Steps To Conquering Your Money Avoidance & Fear

by | Financial Coaching, Money Mindset

Money Matters

Money. The mere mention of it can make even the bravest of souls tremble. Money is often a topic that carries a heavy weight, surrounded by anxiety and fear and even dread. But does it have to be that way? In this blog post, I’ll deep dive into the fascinating world of money avoidance and fear when it comes to money matters. I’ll explore the reasons behind our hesitations, share some relatable points, and most importantly, offer lighthearted yet practical tips to help you conquer your financial fears and embrace money with a renewed sense of confidence and yes, even excitement.

So, What Exactly Do I Mean By Money Avoidance?

Money Avoidance is the perfect partner to our financial fears. It’s important to understand however that this avoidance and fear stems from a lack of understanding or knowledge about money matters and how to best handle the sticky money situations that we may have found ourselves in. Money avoidance also stems from years of conditioning right back to the day we first ever learned about how closely related our quality of life intermingles with the balance in our bank account. Our upbringing and the experiences that we have had with regards to our relationship with money as we ventured on in life, may have also shaped our fearful attitude towards money.

So, it is not surprising, that this combination of our upbringing, lack of understanding and lack of knowledge then creates our attitude towards money which equates to overwhelm and fear, and as a result, it’s clear to see why avoidance becomes the resulting behaviour.

Overwhelm, fear and avoidance – a whole heap of uncomfortable feelings!

I don’t want this to be happening to you!

Money YIKES!

We’ve all been there at one time or another—ignoring our bills, shopping for things when we know we can’t really afford them, not taking the time to truly understand how to properly manage our credit cards or debt, not saving on a regular basis, or worse not saving at all. These bad habits can really hurt over time. Ouch! The list goes on yet we keep burying our heads in the sand, and hoping our financial problems will magically disappear.

But as our avoidance and feelings of fear and dread escalate, deep down we can feel that all these behaviours: Just. Don’t. Work.

One of the main culprits behind money avoidance is the fear of being judged by others. When it comes to money – for most a very private subject – we often worry about being seen as incompetent or incapable when it comes to managing our finances. I mean when was the last time you sat around a table with your friends and all discussed your money matters? I can bet that the answer to that is a resounding NEVER!

But with that said, it’s important to realize that everyone has had their own struggles when it comes to money. Financial challenges are a common aspect of life, after all life moves very fast, but besides its challenges, it also presents us with new opportunities all the time. So, when it comes to your finances, don’t shy away from the opportunity of doing whatever it takes to kick your money avoidance behaviours to the curb.

“But Alice,” you may be asking, “How do I do that”?

Here are 5 steps to kick your money avoidance behaviours to the curb:

Step #1: Break the Ice with Money

Break the ice with money

Let’s face it—money conversations can be uncomfortable. But avoiding them altogether can create a snowball effect, leading to bigger problems down the road. To break the ice and overcome fear, it’s crucial to adopt a lighthearted approach.

Start by sharing your money experiences with a very close friend or loved one. Talk about the financial hurdles you are facing and the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Don’t just look at the negative, think also about some of the things that you do well when it comes to money.

By normalizing these conversations, and facing your fears head on, you’ll find that many others have had similar experiences, and you may even gain valuable insights from their unique perspectives. This one step alone may be just enough for you to realize that you are not alone, and that yes, there are options out there that can help you turn things around.

Step #2: Educate Yourself

Financial knowledge is empowering. Educate yourself about personal finance, budgeting, saving, investing, and any other areas that you feel uncertain about. There are numerous books, websites, and courses available that can help you gain a better understanding of money management. The more you know, the more confident you will feel in making informed financial decisions.

If talking to someone makes you too uncomfortable, search the web and buy a great book on how to create healthy financial habits. The Wealthy Barber, by Canadian author David Chilton is one of my favourites.

Step #3: Embrace a Growth Mindset

Fear often stems from a rigid and stubborn mindset—the belief that our financial situation is predetermined and unchangeable. However, adopting a growth mindset can be transformative when it comes to money matters. Life is fluid not static, so why should your relationship with money be any different?

Instead of dwelling on past mistakes or feeling overwhelmed by the challenges ahead, focus on what you can learn and how you can improve. View financial setbacks as opportunities for growth and develop a curiosity and excitement for understanding your personal financial situation better. Remember, nobody becomes a financial expert overnight, but with dedication and a positive mindset, you can steadily build your financial knowledge, and wealth over time.

Step #4: Embrace Small Steps

small steps big changes

Overcoming avoidance and fear requires taking small, consistent steps toward financial empowerment. Start by creating a spending plan —a simple yet powerful tool that can help you regain control over your money.

Set achievable financial goals and celebrate each milestone along the way. Reward yourself for progress made, whether it’s paying off a debt or sticking to your spending plan for a month. By acknowledging your accomplishments, you’ll build momentum and feel motivated to continue your journey.

Step #5: Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes, fear arises from the belief that we have to tackle money matters alone. If this is your biggest hurdle, then seeking professional guidance may be the solution for you. Professional guidance can alleviate this anxiety and provide valuable insights into managing your finances effectively.

Consider consulting a financial coach, or a financial planner or advisor, who can help you create a roadmap for your financial goals. Their expertise can demystify complex financial jargon, provide personalized strategies, and instill confidence in your decision-making.

Summing It Up

So to wrap things up, remember that avoidance and fear surrounding money matters are very common, but they need not be crippling. By understanding the root causes of our fears and taking proactive steps, we can transform our relationship with money from one of trepidation to one of empowerment.

Your #1 take away from this blog should be to adopt the belief that breaking the ice with money conversations and adopting a growth mindset are essential. Seek professional guidance when needed, and celebrate the small victories along your financial journey. By approaching money matters with a light heart, you’ll pave the way for a brighter and more confident future.

So, let’s embrace our fears, face our finances head-on, and empower ourselves to conquer the financial challenges that come our way. After all, life is too short to be held back by fear when it comes to money. It’s time to take control and create a future that is both financially sound and joyfully abundant.

About Alice Wynter

Alice is a Certified Financial Planner® (CFP), a Chartered Investment Manager® (CIM), and a Professional Certified Coach with over 34 years experience in helping women conquer their finances. She helps Canadian women with the support and tools they need to take control of their money and create security, prosperity and freedom.